Why aren’t we talking about this

Why aren't we talking about this: Jealousy (Live Episode)

"LinkedIn is a jealousy machine pretending to be a motivation machine."
Ooofff.. yep.
Award season rolls around. Amazing job announcements. That campaign you wish you'd thought of. Everyone "thrilled, delighted, and excited."
And you're sitting there feeling hot with rage wondering what's wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you.
This is a live recording and we did not hold back.
We talked about every aspect of jealousy. Not in a sanitised, packaged way. In a raw, I'm actually naming who and what my biggest triggers are kind of way.
We talked about:
Reading someone's brilliant work and feeling genuine rage- not because they did anything wrong, but because it held up a mirror to everything I'd been sitting on and not doing.
Why jealousy might only be about other women and what that says about how few seats there still are at the table.
The sliding doors version of yourself. Getting jealous of the life you didn't choose. Is that jealousy? Or is it grief?
What your body is actually telling you when jealousy hits and why it's not about the other person at all. Spoiler hot and ragey...
The jealousy map. A tool that might just change how you process it.
My biggest takeaway? Jealousy is a signal. When you actually stop and listen to it, it's pointing at something you want, something you care about, something that matters to you.
The question is whether you let it fester or let it unlock something.
Huge thanks to Women in PR and FINN Partners for making it happen. 
 
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: UTIs

“Women, it's older women, and then it's urine- it’s the triple yuck”
This is probably the most important conversation that I have had this year. I can not express how crucial it is that we change the whole narrative around this.
50% of women will experience them, 30% will have recurring infections and 30% of sepsis deaths in women started as a UTI. The scale of the issue blows my mind.
Millions of women a year are suffering, yet generic antibiotics, lack of education and embarrassment are meaning that no one is talking about this. I want to change that.
This week on ‘Why Aren’t We Talking About This’, I am speaking to Kath Church all about UTIs.
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: Chaos as a catalyst

Sometimes a book finds you at exactly the moment you need it and Chaos was that for me.
We all experience it. Those moments where everything feels uncertain, where something is shifting, ending, or asking more of you and your instinct is to resist it. To panic. To or at least in my case, go straight to the very worst possibility. 
But what if that’s not what’s happening at all?
In this conversation, Sarah talks about sitting in a hospital waiting room, convinced she might be dying, while everything else in her life was already falling apart- she was on the edge of bankruptcy and felt emotionally and physically broken. And in that moment, realising something quite uncomfortable. That she hadn’t just ended up there… she’d played a part in getting herself there.
That’s the bit that stayed with me. She as responsible.
It’s much easier to blame the situation, the timing, other people. But the moment you realise you’ve had a hand in it, you also realise you’re the only one who can change it.
That’s where chaos starts to look different.
Not as something that’s happening to you, but something that’s asking something of you. Sarah’s book explores the choices we make in those moments. Whether we lean in, take responsibility, and move through it, or slip into handing over our power. Even in the messiest shit shows, there’s a decision point. So if that’s the case… why aren’t we talking about it?
In this weeks episode of Why Aren’t we Talking About it’ I’m speaking to the brilliant Sarah McDermott about what it takes to sit in that discomfort - and choose differently when life doesn’t go to plan. Listen and also buy the book- it’s really very good, especially if you need a bit of tough love right about now.
Buy here at Waterstones 
 
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: Why am I doing this?

This week, we are doing something a bit different. I am talking about me. Why did I, at 41, decide to start a podcast… and start sharing stories about myself, revealing insecurities, and basically how despite now being an adult for over half my life I have no idea how to adult.
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: Sharing hard stories (Endometriosis)

Stories are how we make sense of what’s happening to us.
But when something hard hits, most of us go quiet. We tell ourselves we’ll share it later- when we understand it, when it feels less raw, when there’s a neat ending.
So we carry it alone. But silence has weight. And it makes heavy things feel heavier. Because there’s something that happens when someone tells the truth in real time. Not to fix it. Not to package it. Just to say: this is happening, and it’s really hard.
It creates recognition. And recognition creates relief. Today’s conversation is about sharing while you’re still in it.
In today’s episode I’m joined by Kyara Bentley, who opens up about her recent stage 4 endometriosis diagnosis- the uncertainty, the fear, and the impact on her future. And what happened when she chose to speak before she had the answers.
This is a conversation about being witnessed. And why sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is press “post.”
If anyone would like to speak with Kyara about anything covered in the episode you can find her on Instagram on Hope Beyond Endo on her personal page 
The petition to make egg freezing available on the NHS to endometriosis patients,---
Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: Sharing photos of kids on social media

We’ve normalised something quite strange.
We take photos of our children constantly. First steps, first days of school, the in-between moments that feel too important to lose. And then we share them. Not always widely, not always publicly, but enough that those images start to exist beyond us.
And on the surface, it all feels harmless. It feels like love, like connection, like a way of holding onto time as it moves.
But underneath that, something else is happening.
We are building digital records of our children before they have any awareness of it. Before they can decide what parts of their lives are public and what parts are private. Before they can say no.
We tell ourselves it’s safe. That it’s just friends, just family, just a small circle. But once something is posted, it doesn’t stay there. It becomes part of a system that can store it, copy it, move it, and use it in ways we don’t fully see.
And then there’s the part that’s harder to sit with. That those same images can be taken, manipulated, repurposed. That they can surface years later, in contexts we would never have chosen. That the idea of “control” online is, at best, partial.
So this episode is really about that discomfort. About what we’re doing when we share our children online, and whether we’ve fully understood the implications of it.
In this episode of Why Aren’t We Talking About This, I’m speaking with Lisa Ventura MBE, a cyber security expert, about children’s images and social media and what happens to them once they’re posted, and what we need to understand about safety in a digital world.
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: Other peoples opinions

Everywhere you turn there’s judgement - do less, do more, be thinner, be softer, be stronger, be quieter, be grateful, be better. Society hands women a script and calls it choice, and we follow it: staying in careers that drain us, making life decisions to avoid criticism, having children or not having them based on what will be easiest to explain. At this point, so many of our choices aren’t even ours anymore; they’re crowd-sourced, pre-approved, run past everyone else before we dare to trust them ourselves. We don’t listen to what we want; we listen to what will be accepted. 
In today's episode of ‘Why Aren’t we Talking about this’ with Heidi Cullip we are delivering into why. This isn’t a conversation about neat answers, it’s a confrontation with the questions we avoid: whose life am I living, who taught me this was success, and what would I choose if I stopped asking for permission?
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren’t we talking about this: The messiness of grief

Grief. There is no one way to do it.
And yet, when you’re in the thick of it, it’s so easy to feel like you’re getting it wrong - too much, too little, too emotional, too functional. Carrying on when you think you shouldn’t. Falling apart when you think you should be coping better.
Grief is messy. Layered. Multifaceted. No two versions look the same.And the feelings it surfaces are often not the ones you expected - sometimes not even ones you knew you were carrying.
It isn’t always sadness. Sometimes it’s anger. Sometimes it’s relief. Sometimes it’s resentment. Sometimes you are not just grieving for the person but the idea of the person or what could have been.
Emotions that don’t fit neatly into the very narrow cultural script of what grief is “supposed” to look like.
So in today’s episode of Why Aren’t We Talking About This, I’m talking to grief coach Kate Nudds and we are shinning a light on grief - not the neat, sanitised, five-stages version we’ve all been taught, but the real, lived, complicated way it actually unfolds.
We talk about how grief changes you.About anticipatory grief and how in many ways you are grieving twice.About how grief can ambush you months or years later.
We unpack the silent “shoulds” and “should nots.”How you give yourself permission to feel joy again without guilt.And when, if ever, it’s the right time to remove someone from the WhatsApp group.
Because grief doesn’t follow a formula. It moves. It shifts. It reshapes you. And maybe the most important thing to say- however yours looks, it’s not wrong.
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren’t we talking about this: Male Infertility

Infertility is a complex topic. And while conversations and support around it have come a long way in the 9 years since I went through IVF, there’s still one side that remains largely closed off. Male infertility.
It’s often framed clinically. Numbers. Tests. Procedures. Analysis.
But emotionally, it hits something much deeper.
For many men, fertility is tangled up with identity. We live in a culture shaped by toxic masculinity- one that links a man’s value to strength, competence, and legacy. Virility becomes a marker of worth. Of power. Of being “enough.” So when infertility arises, it doesn’t just feel like a medical problem, it can feel like a personal failure.
There’s often shame, silence and avoidance. As most men do not have the language for this kind of vulnerability.
In today’s episode, I’m speaking to Alex Wortley about his experience male infertility. We dive into feelings, perceptions, why we really need to talk about this more. This is a must listen for anyone in a fertility journey or has friends going through it, as whilst the lens on male infertility much of what we talk about is the importance of open, honest conversations.
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

Why aren't we talking about this: The basics of nutrition

We live in a world overflowing with health advice. Protocols. Hacks. Blueprints for the “perfect” routine. Everyone seems to have a plan, a stack, a morning routine that promises optimisation and longevity.
And yet, most of us (and I raise my hand here) are still exhausted, disconnected, inflamed, wired, under-fed, over-stimulated, under-rested.
We’re not short on information. We’re short on self-knowledge.
Somehow, the most unsexy, foundational elements of health have become the most neglected:Sleep. Hydration. Light. Movement. Food. Rest. Nervous system safety.
We know them. We talk about them. We measure them obsessively on apps and devices, yet we seem to have lost the ability to actually embody them.
In todays episode of Why Aren’t we talking about this, I speak with Brigid Fox, an integrative health and performance coach about what happens when we stop treating health as a performance  and start treating it as a relationship. 
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Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human.
Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?